Jealousy is an ugly thing. It starts as a shadow of a thought, growing bigger by the second, forming into an endless abyss of self-hatred, fear, and misery. It never stops. It never silences. It can only drown you in it’s infinite darkness.
You see, she hadn’t been the first in someone else’s life before. But he came along and chose her above all. She finally belonged to someone that made her happy, a feeling she only recently got accustomed to. He made her feel like she matters, at least to him.
But he doesn’t know how it breaks her heart every time she feels his attention float to another girl. A girl he might like. A girl he might love. Because there are many that are better than her, she knows this. And she fears she isn’t enough for him sometimes. That he needs more.
And so her heart breaks, when he looks at another girl twice. It’s a horrible feeling when he sweet talks a passerby. She can’t help but notice the way his eyes follow the pretty ones. And she feels sadness beyond imagination, when his mind is impressed by a smart one. And she hopes she’ll never have to witness when his soul is inspired by another, because that…that would break her.
She wishes she was trusting. Not of him, but of life. But life has showed her that it can turn people’s hearts dark. Even the ones closest to her. He loves her, she knows he does, but so have others whom have betrayed her. So she prays that she can be enough for him, even when he thinks about others. And she prays with her tortured mind and heavy soul, he continues to choose her even when he meets better.